It’s 10:17 pm when I walk to the fridge for a snack. It’s half-filled and reminds me that I really should not go another day without a trip to the store. The table I purchased yesterday is half put together in the middle of my kitchen and the washer is running my darks with two more loads waiting to go right after.
I scan the shelves in my open fridge. Sweet or salty, something heavy or light?
I think about my week as I decide.
PJ has been out of town since Monday, boys had soccer but I missed one day of schooling them. I went to Atlanta for the day and managed to still bring snacks to bible study but I really didn’t follow up well with a girl that just received the Lord recently and I haven’t kept up well with my sisters and my friends in Florida and I just simply have to finish that book I’m reading before I get kicked out of the book club!
As I’m shortening the expiration dates on my perishables in the fridge, I consider.
If this was my last meal ever, what would I choose? The question was so unexpected I knew it was God. The parallel was striking. If I could only do one thing during my week, what would I choose to do? The answer was clear as day; first and foremost I would train my boys in the ways of God by home schooling and pouring Gods word into them. That’s my hearts desire and that’s where I find Gods purpose for me in this season of life.
Suddenly I realized why I have been so short tempered with them and frustrated during school. I spread myself too thin with trying to do every other area of life a little more perfect and it leaves me with little energy left for what’s most important. And it hasn’t even been anything evil, just a lot of good things that has kept me busy.
I remembered the quote I read somewhere; “If the enemy can’t stop me from doing good things, he will make me busy doing good things”, so as to distract me from that which is most important and where Gods power flows (in me fulfilling His agenda) Remember, satan is a deceiver appearing as the angel of light.
I have to constantly apply wisdom and question myself why I’m doing what I’m doing. Even during home schooling, there is a choice to make; if I choose academics at the cost of love because I’m so determined for them to “get it” and I loose my temper, I have sinned against God! I’ve chosen to get a desired, “good” result by the love of law instead of by the law of love. It has to be done by the law of love or I’m sinning against God, no matter if the desired task has been achieved. It can be by the “good” and worthy things that the enemy will try to tempt us to sin.
Again, if I could only give my boys One thing today, what would I choose to give them? Love above anything else, right? Soon as I realign my focus, the frustration melts away and I can say, “let’s try completing this task in a little bit”, instead of demanding it. Nothing should be as important as my main goal right now: to receive Gods love and give it away to my children. Not even academics as good and important as that is, because the great commandment comes before the great commission. That means even discipling my children is secondary to simply loving them.
When I strip it down to the bare minimum, I feel the burden lift. It’s so simple!
“Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.” 1Cor.13:8-11 NKJ
So I’ll disappoint a few friends, skip a get together here and there and won’t have my house all perfect. But I’m hoping to give my children that which they most need; a peaceful home with two parents who love each other and enjoy life together with God at the center. “Joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such there is no law”.
As for my nighttime craving, I grabbed half a jar of salty/sour Polish Dill out of my fridge, which I finished at about midnight when I went to bed, leaving my laundry halfway done because I truly didn’t care. I was at peace with God.
Have you asked God what your main focus should be in this season of life? Are you doing “good” things that are keeping you from the “best” thing?
When do you get so task oriented that you sin against love?
